Waiting

After a flurry of activity last week, this week has been a little different. I went into London again on Sunday evening to attend induction at the Nightingale on Monday. Induction covered the usual stuff for a hospital job as well as lots about working in PPE. They have even come up with standard hand signals for communication as it can be challenging to hear each other while in full PPE (and the acoustics are also not great given the large area). They seem very committed to looking after staff, partly I think in recognition of the high stress environment, but also I guess because the workforce is all volunteer. How great it would be if NHS trusts generally took a similar approach!

I came back to Oxford on Monday night, and have basically been waiting for the call ever since. I think they have had fewer than expected patients at the Nightingale, so are still trying to figure out how many staff they actually need. Its been a bit of a strange existence this week (even for these times!). Given how things have worked thus far, it is entirely possible the call will come one day and I will be expected in London the next day. This has meant I haven’t stocked up on perishable food, have limited my virtual commitments, haven’t started any major tasks for my normal job (which I’m currently doing from home), and have kept a bag half packed. This isn’t really a sustainable way of living (even for the moment!) so I’ve basically decided to get on with things here and hope I won’t be caught too much on the back foot if/when the Nightingale call comes. I even baked banana bread today… with choc chips!

Meantime (yesterday) I’ve been in touch with my hospital in Oxford to volunteer (I’m not sure that’s the right word given I normally work here!) to help in ICU here instead. So now I’m waiting to hear back from both the Nightingale and Oxford hospitals! If neither get back to me within the next day or so, then I’ll just add my name to the “pool” of staff being recruited onto wards to work as support workers here in Oxford. This means I will have effectively volunteered for three different jobs, so I’m hoping I only get called on by one at a time! Worst case scenario would be to do a full week here, then get the call to come into the Nightingale to start my 50 hour week there straight away. That would be quite challenging – but I think relatively unlikely… I hope!

It was helpful to be reminded in the sermon this morning that groaning now is a normal expectation, and that the glory to come will far outweigh these troubles. I’ve been finding it hard to wait this week. And hard not to know what I’m doing. A friend rightly guessed that I have been hitting the “refresh” button on my email about 50 times a day, willing there to be an email telling me the plan! I thought the uncertainty was going to be primarily about working in an entirely new environment, but it turns out there was going to be a whole other layer of uncertainty on top of that! I needed the reminder this morning that I have God’s Spirit to help with my weakness, so I don’t need to do it all myself and have it all figured out. And that God is using this to make me more like Jesus. Which means its not that something has gone wrong with the plan (not God’s plan!), this, even the waiting and not knowing, is good for me because it will make me more like Jesus. Thanks Andy! (for non woody rd-ers you can hear the non-abridged version here ).

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I did get to go on a lovely walk in Shotover yesterday. There were bluebells everywhere and I was serenaded by constant birdsong for the entire walk. It was glorious! Another reminder of God’s goodness and provision in the midst of apparent chaos.