Stretching

Training is done. I have the certificates that claim I successfully completed the training (and by implication can now be trusted to work as a critical care scientist). Three days doesn’t feel like quite enough. I now know a whole lot more stuff about something I knew nothing about previously, but I also feel like there is a whole lot of stuff I still don’t know! But regardless… here I go. I have today (Sunday) off. Plans changed (again) so now I have my induction tomorrow (Monday). I’m thankful for the opportunity to catch my breath, but especially I’m thankful I was able to “join in” church this morning. It was helpful to be reminded that God has defeated death. And that as humans we are not in control of everything, we need God.

I also got to join in with a reunion that was organised by people from my old church in Australia. We used to have annual youth camps with people from our churches across the country. It was so great to get to see people I haven’t seen in years and years and catch up with where various people are now at. Most encouragingly, it was wonderful to see so many of my generation that grew up in our church still faithfully following God and living for Him in many different ways. It was amazing to pray together and feel so much like we were family still, even though there were some people I haven’t seen for decades. Praise God for keeping us all to this day and may he continue to do so.

The first day of training was mostly “sim” training. This involved simulations of different scenarios we are likely to come across in ICU, with an emphasis on things that people have already learnt happens in patients with Covid-19. Basically, each scenario involved an alarm going off on a ventilator. We then had to figure out what was causing the alarm and know what to do about it. Its amazing how everything you have been taught makes perfect sense and you feel like you understand it, but when faced with a (plastic!) patient on a bed with tubes going in and out and an alarm screeching for attention, suddenly you don’t remember anything! It was really helpful to be given real world situations and to be taught how to calmly and systematically deal with it. That could mean fault finding with the machine, but more likely, figuring out what has gone wrong with the patient and knowing what to do about it. Training that day was at St Thomas hospital. I had to navigate a sea of cameras and reporters to leave the hospital, as everyone awaited Boris’ exit. Another reminder of the reality of what we are dealing with.

The next two days of training didn’t involve any patients (plastic or otherwise) and focused instead on understanding, operating, trouble-shooting and fixing equipment. At the end of the second day they showed us a list of equipment that they know they already have at the Nightingale. It included ventilators, patient monitors, pulse oximetry, syringe drivers, infusion pumps, capnography, filters, even beds, mattresses and pumps. The list ran to several hundred lines! And we are the ones people will be turning to when something appears not to be working… for all and any of the above equipment! The trainers were exceptionally helpful and patient. They are doing everything they can to support us. They have contacted all the manufacturers and got hold of user manuals and put them all in one place for us, and are generally trying to help as much as possible. The same could be said about the clinical trainers. They were marvellously patient and helpful and answered the gazillion questions we all had.

It was interesting being in a room of people who were all in a similar position to me. There were about 20 of us doing the 3 days of training. Everyone is a clinical scientist – though from all different specialisms including radiotherapy, audiology, cardiography, medical physics, respiratory sciences, etc. A room full of people that were unfamiliar with the equipment and techniques we were being shown, but all scientists with a clinical background of some form or another. Every time we were told something, a sea of hands would go up, with questions like “but how does that work”, “what about if you do this”, “how does that fit with this other piece of information”, “can I touch it”. The trainers told us a few times it was a different experience for them too! The clinical trainers normally train doctors and the equipment trainers normally train technicians. I don’t think they were quite prepared for us! Every time one of us asked a question there would be a room full of “yes exactly… that’s what I was going to ask” – it was pretty funny. All different… but clones in some ways also!

All our trainers have been working in ICU with Covid patients, either in the Nightingale in London or in their own hospitals elsewhere. It was sobering to hear about the reality of dealing with patients in this environment. Once they get to the point where they need to be on ventilators, the mortality rate currently appears to be quite high. There is a pretty good chance that I will need to face the death of patients that I will be caring for. I would very much appreciate prayer for grace and strength to be able to cope with that, as well as wisdom, compassion and courage to be able to talk with people around me, to comfort and to share true hope.

I am supposed to start shifts at the Nightingale sometime this week. We have been told we will be rota-ed on to 4 x 12.5 hour shifts (2 days and 2 nights) then 4 days off. That’s the shift pattern the current staff at the Nightingale are doing. The hope is to put us into teams, so we will generally be working with the same people (doctors, nurses and scientists). They will also provide accommodation, and are hoping we can keep the same room for the duration, regardless of whether or not we are on shift, which would be helpful. I don’t know yet when I will be starting. It still feels very daunting. If anything, more so, as I have discovered what I will be responsible for. I’m already tired just from the training. I’m very aware of my own weakness and limitations. But God is not limited and far from weak. If he chooses to use me in this way, it will certainly be clear it is Him not me. I’m praying that this will be clear to others around me as well. 2 Corinthian 1:9 continues to be a challenge and an encouragement to me. I’m very thankful to hear so many tell me they are praying for me. I feel very in need of it! I know so many people are facing situations they are finding challenging and stretching in many ways. Praying for you all as well!